Let's have a glass of wine

It's been 15 whole days since I wined whined about something, so clearly, I am neglecting this blog. I shall get out the corkscrew and remedy that immediately.   Grab a glass.

My shoulder pain is  right back to being a level 7 or 8 again.  Not only does the shoulder hurt - a lot - but it is spasming and I can feel it in my elbow, up my neck and down my wrist.  It throbs if I move it, too.  The worst part is it is getting painful to type, which makes it hard to work.  I can't move it more than a couple of inches, and I feel desperate to comb my hair and can't.  I haven't been this unkempt in years.

Not sleeping is, of course, a given.

Let me pour a little a more wine whine as I tell you that there is a burning pain in the chest wall underneath the implant.  The phantom itching has not gone away.  Plus, one area of skin on the scar about the size of  a quarter feels like it's severely bruised if I touch it, even very lightly.  I am starting to suspect that instead of a garden variety frozen shoulder, I may have Post-Mastectomy Pain Syndrome, which is caused by nerve damage during the mastectomy.

Hold out your glass, because I want to tell you that isn't the only fun I get to have.   For about a month, I have experienced abdominal bloating, from what I thought was the steroids I took to try to control the shoulder pain.  However, it's been more than a month since I swallowed the last one and the bloating is getting worse.  I honestly look like I'm seven months pregnant now, and I had to go out and purchase some pants a size up.  With my bad shoulder, there was no way I could strain myself to close my regular pants.  Although with a two inch gap, even with a good shoulder I'm not sure I could have managed.

That would have created the muffin top to beat all muffin tops.

Then I had to go up one more size!  No really, in one month I've gone up two sizes.  It seems to be bloat, not fat, (although to be truthful, and please don't hate me, I have never gained weight in my life so I'm not sure how to tell the difference.)  Now I have seriously baggy jeans around my butt and thighs that fit around the waist.

I'm a sexy, sexy woman.  Elastic's next, just you wait and see.

Take another sip.  That lower left back pain that I have had for months?  It has not gone away.  It does get down to unnoticeable levels and then it pops up again, like the cork on the newest bottle I just opened.

Want some more whine wine?

You are going to need it when you read this;  I also have some intermittent bowel  problems.  Oh, just take a small sip, I won't go into it.  Google tenesmus if you really want to know.

Fortunately, that problem comes and goes.  (har har)

Maybe the whine wine will help with that, at least.

My goodness, the fun never ends, does it?

You know, if I'd had any idea that cancer was going to do this to me, and make me feel discomfort 2 years down the road, not to mention having  to learn a word like tenesmus,  I might not have done it.

Oh, I know.  I've googled abdominal bloating, lower back, pain and tenesmus,  and I get what you get.  All I have to say to that is:

No.

Let's have another drink.

.