Monday, October 11, 2010

Clean Bones



My bones are as bleached, white and pure as those of a 1880s pioneeer in the Mohave desert.

I guess it's awful, but I wasn't relieved. Mostly because I didn't really think cancer had spread to my bones, especially since I am still in treatment. But, I had hoped for some clue what is causing this pain, and my knowledge is as arid as that desert.

I got nuthin'.

The pain has changed and I know now that it is an organ or visceral pain. It's on the left side of my lower abdomen and is tender to the touch.

I see my primary care physician on Wednesday (yes, another doctor's appointment) and will ask him to check it out. What I really don't want to do is start a long testing/diagnostic process, so hopefully, he's got some magic to pull out of his ass sleeve. At least he'll know what organ is in the area that hurts - I don't even know that much.

If he doesn't know, I don't think I'll pursue it too hard. Either it'll go away or it'll kill me. That was the attitude I had before I got cancer, and maybe I should adopt it again. I just don't have time for mysterious pains.

And, talking about mysterious pains is as boring for me as it is for the listener reader. So, unless my colon spills through my belly button, I think I'll just pretend like it's not happening.

4 comments:

  1. Yay for the clean bones!!

    Argh for the not knowing what hurts!

    Here's hoping your PCP can easily identify where and why the pain, simply by pulling something out of his ass-sleeve. :)

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  2. I get where you're coming from. I just had my own medical mystery in the form of a bizarre pox inhabiting my upper left thigh and nostril oddly enough. After 3-months of dealing with the pox, and being told to stay away from small children and pregnant women, and being prodded, poked and medicated, the pox disappeared mysteriously as it had arrived. I tested negative for everything the Dr's could think of, and in the end the best my dear oncologist could offer in explanation was "I think it was probably just some weird cancer thing". Peace.

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  3. Hope you get the darn pain source figured out. Don't you just love all the doctor appointments? The bad part is there is so much they don't know. My big question right now is why does Taxol cause such leg aches and pains? No one seems to know. They just say it's a side effect.

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  4. Oh, gosh, I hope a pox isn't next for me!

    Taxol did it to me too, but it went right away when I was done. Until, that is, I started taking tamoxfen.

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